Characters

Aunt Blabby, Advice for the Lovelorn

Aunt Blabby writes an advice column for those in need of relationship advice. She lives alone in a cottage in the woods and spends most of her time watching soap operas and reality TV shows with her two cats Bubba and Wolfgang. A self-proclaimed relationship n life coach guru, she has a certificate in relationship therapy from the seven eleven drive thru academy. Aunt Blabby writes a monthly advice column here in Small Town News, for those in need of her expertise or fine-tuned meddling.


Annatooshus Belle, Our Lady of Perpetual Felinism & Freelance Reporter

Annatooshus manages the local cattery, while trying to catch a few cat naps.  People affectionately call her, “The Patron Saint of Perpetual Felinism”.  Her articles focus on her childhood memories. We love taking the trip down memory lane with her!


 

Petunia Flowerchild, Professional Tree Hugger & Occasional Quipper

When she’s not in the woods enjoying nature, then Petunia is at social gatherings humming, singing and reciting poetry. Her signature phrase is “la, la, la, la, la”.


Gertrude Smith, Power Napping Instructor

When she’s not admonishing her followers for not adhering to her Power Napping Techniques, Gertrude spends her time at flea markets and barn dances. Her reporting focusses on events in town or the latest gossip. She’s one of our best!


Barton Frogmeade, Freelance Columnist

Barton Frogmeade is a man who’s lust for life is demonstrated by his frequent naps. He is an avid disciple of Gertrude Smith’s Power Napping technique. He has combined and perfected the Pomodoro Technique for work/nap balance. For every 5 minutes of work, he takes a 25-minute nap. Here’s a photo of him on the couch at The Small Town Times with the company cat.  We’re happy to have such a hard worker on our team! 


About Deborah Poirier

Deborah Poirier, Town Gossip Columnist

Deborah grew up in a small country area called Cheticamp and was raised in the neck of the woods. Her parents were farmers and spent most of their time working in the fields. They would get all their food from their garden and traveled to town on horse and buggy to bring some produce to the market to sell to the public.

While going to high school, Deborah got involved in different activities but spent most of her teenage years working with the school newspaper, which she enjoyed immensely. She was named the gossip columnist and was constantly roaming the hallways during recesses and lunch hours looking for her next gossip story to put in the newspaper. She would listen in on other peoples’ conversations as she strolled the hallways until she came across the perfect story. She would then follow them around the hallway and take notes. When permitted, she would interview these people to get the rest of the story if they were willing to speak to her. She would quote them to make her stories more authentic.

She enjoyed gossiping about people so much that she continued her studies in journalism at Dalhousie University in Halifax. She mastered the technique and became the valedictorian when she graduated in 2003.

She worked with the Chronicle Herald in Halifax for 12 years until she decided to move to Small Town.  She now has a regular column here at The Small Town Times.  We’re so glad that she is here and part of our family! Our town would not be able to keep up with the latest gossip without her!


 

Franklin Fogg, Foreign Correspondent (because he lives on the other side of town)

Franklin Fogg attended the University of Southeast-Northwest Territories. He currently lives on the other side of Small Town which makes him our Foreign Correspondent. He says he spends most of his time hiding from the sun. When we asked him if he was a vampire all he did was hiss at us and disappear.


 

Terry Floyd, Self-Proclaimed Anarchist, and Owner of the Anarchist Cafe

When asked to do a biography on this website, Terry said, “No way, man! The government is Big Brother and they’re collecting data on all of us. Don’t make it easy for them!”